May 2013
jimbertimber:
coming out to your parents by saying swiggity swag guess whos a fag
lynzave:
geezjenner:
lynzave:
I’m legitimately amazed at the fact that women can actually grow a person in their uterus without even trying and then the people CRAWL OUT OF THEIR VAGINA COVERED IN ECTOPLASM
AND NO ONE EVEN TRIES TO KILL IT LIKE THAT’S A COMPLETELY NORMAL OCCURRENCE FOR US
I don’t think the person writing this realizes that they crawled out of a uterus once
I was a C...
satans-fabulous-blog:
morphingly:
brightredkettle:
are you the SAT because i’d do you for 3 hours and 45 minutes
with a ten minute break halfway through for snacks
That’s the most reasonable pick up line I’ve ever heard. You’re hired.
alltimeangela:
why does leonardo dicaprio always end up dead in the water with no girlfriend
internetfeet:
People mistake ovulation and menstruation to be the same thing when in fact they aren’t
Ovulation is when the eggs are saying “hello friends I am here”
And menstuation is when the eggs are saying “goodbye friends I am gone”
dean-ismean:
how do i even get followers all i do is hit the reblog button and talk to myself
leftforbed:
leftforbed:
mcsnuggie:
true self control is waiting until the movie starts to eat your popcorn
why would the movie eat my popcorn
nevermind i get it
nishlo:
nishlo:
CARTOONIST FOUND DEAD IN HIS APARTMENT
DETAILS ARE SKETCHY
richwhitelesbian:
he’s makin a list
checkin’ it twice!
gonna find out if you’re middle class and white
if i had a penis i would probably put cute stickers all over it
mytoecold:
A guy I don’t know very well handed me his yearbook and asked me if I wanted to sign it.
I said yes, and shortly after he added, “Just don’t write anything gay.”
I wrote this:
Fuck my actual butthole. You are a boy and so am I. We are going to have sex that is gay. Pound my rock hard cock and bite me.
Love,
Drew
really tho the fictional character that’s been treated the worst by its writers is Scrat
fearless-stormclaw:
fartgallery:
bel0w-zer0:
fartgallery:
what if cars didnt have wheels but had mechanical feet so you just saw cars running around everywhere
It would give running someone over a whole new meaning
a hit and run
running a red light
january: okay yeah man new year new me fresh starts all around i'm totally not gonna waste this year like i've done every other year of my life so far
february: well okay that went quickly but february will be my month i will get shit done
march: lol wtf wasn't it christmas yesterday
april: awww little baby birdies and shit how cute but i've still done absolutely fuck all
may: mAY THE FOURTH BE WITH YOU AH AHA HHAHAHHA AHHAHA aw shit i missed april fool's day how the fuck did that happen
june: since when is it summer
july: blogging blogging blogging blogging blogging sleeping eating blogging
august: i need to start getting shit done where has the summer gone omg
september: take me back to the fucking summer
october: HALLOFUCKINWEEN MOTHERFUCKERS
november: everything in nature's dying hmm bit of a bummer
december: chrISTMAS FUCK YEAH OMG YAY. OMG IT'S ALMOST NEXT YEAR. NEXT YEAR, THAT IS THE YEAR I WILL GET SHIT DONE. I CAN FEEL IT.
